Jahleel

We planted a tree to commemorate your departure, looking at the photo, the tree has grown, and continues to grow. There isn’t a day that passes without me thinking about you, though nowadays I don’t cry as much as I used to. Not because the love has ceased, but because I know your in a much better place than all of us down here, I know your at peace, and I know your always looking down at me, your dad and your brothers. You can’t come back to me, and that is why I strive to work out my salvation, that when I depart from this earth, not only will I see you, but I will be with our Lord.

At times I imagine how big you’ve become, how tall you are, strolling in the streets of Heaven, what you do? Then I remember the words of our Lord that states, “Let the little children come unto me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14 You were only with me for a short while, so short I didn’t get to do your first birthday, your first Christmas or holiday, I didn’t see you sit down, or crawl, I didn’t get to see your first teeth, nor remove your first tooth. I have grown to appreciate that it happened the way it did, that you were only meant to be with me for just but a little while. In those few months, you made me grow from a girl to a lady, who now had a responsibility to take care of. I remember going back to work, just after a month when you were born, so that I didn’t loose my job, both me and your daddy hustling to be able to buy you formula milk, which you so loved! I never knew what responsibility was until I had you, and I bless the Lord for the chance and opportunity that He gave us to spend the time we had with you.

I told your brothers that you went to Heaven, at first they didn’t understand any of it, but they were excited to learn that they had another sibling, who was there before them. Though they wish they would have met you, but the pictures serve as a memory to them and us all. Every time your brothers see a photo of you, they always ask if its them, the resemblance is top notch! and so, every time I look at them, I see you. You were born almost the same time as Nadia, she is now in High School, and so whenever I see Nadia progress in her studies, I always imagine it was you, going through high school now, a teenager; oh wow! that would have been nice. To see you and take you through teenage years, to hear your very first deep voice, to know what talents you would have had? But God had other plans, and for that, I accept and move on, holding on to your memory, your love, your embrace!

Ave shared your story with many people, and in particular to ladies and couples who went through the exact same thing, and they have received comfort, so you see Jahleel, your story, has also brought healing to many others, and for that I will continue sharing what happened to you, to keep your memory alive, and to help those who are down in depression because of death of a loved one. Yes its God who gives and its He who takes, may His name be Glorified. We are only passing through life to each make our mark and share our memories, but the most important thing that we need to do, is share the love of our Father in Heaven, to make Him known throughout the world. He gives beauty for ashes Jahleel, and I can tell you that He turned my mourning into dancing again, He gave me a new heart, He has forever changed my life, and I know that He will continue to change me, for He is the potter and I am the clay, He will mould me, remove all the impurities in me, and just like a goldsmith holds the gold at the hottest part of the fire to make the gold pure, I know He will hold my hand and walk with me in this journey called Life, and purify me!

Your name means hoping in Jehovah, I have kept my faith alive in Jehovah my Lord and Saviour, and I will serve only Him

Forever in my heart!